Dearest Mckeith and your readers,
I trust you are well. I watched you people kick me out on the 31st of December and trust me it was very heartbreaking to watch. Before I left, I decided to write you something small. It’s straight from my heart.
I am locked up in a prison with no walls. Just a tiny window. My ungrateful acts led me there. Now am struggling. To deal with my problem. To deal with my issues.
When I close my eyes, it’s you I see. Wishing I could turn the clock back. Turn it to the time before. For if I Hadnt then I would not be living with that guilt within. That night has become a nightmare. I have not been myself since. I have lost you. I have that part of me that I offered you.
You have taken it away. In my heart I regret. A part of me also thinks u knew what was going to happen. You knew I would want to do it. But somehow to deal with this I think you needed to blame someone. You needed to hate me. You needed to find a way of staying away. That is what you decided to put in your head. I accept, coz u probably want this over.
I feel like I have become something else. You are scared of me. Scared of what I could do to you. I didn’t think it would ever get to that. I have lost my emotion. I feel drained. At whatever cost you are trying to erase me. I am too but it is proving to be tasking. I love and I miss u but there is nothing to do about it. I feel like needing a rest. A rest without drama.
I am jealous of 2011 but what can I do. All I want is for you to be happy. Gladly greet all your readers and tell them I wish them the best 2011. I can’t believe I am crying but I need to go.
Yours Truly 2010
P.S. I enjoyed the good times that we had though. I cannot recall many of those times because we barely had any.
Showing posts with label 2010. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2010. Show all posts
Jan 1, 2011
Jan 7, 2010
Inglorious News
He is watching an episode from the CBS series NCIS. Its dark, the sound of hooting vehicles is accompanied by the smashing of brakes from the same cars. He can’t hear these sounds. He is concentrating on the Series. Laughing at Agent Donoso eating agent McGee’s apple and then agent Ziva trying to speak the English language. In one of the episodes as they are at a crime scene, Agent McGee see’s something. He is startled. And then Ziva asks.
“Have you seen a goat McGee”
“Actually its ghost not goat,” McGee says “Do you know a De Ja Vu Ziva?” He adds
“No! What is a Déjà Vu?” Ziva asks
Well this guy watching NCIS just keeps on laughing. The skull loving, gothic and forensic scientist Abby and the Gut driven Mark Harmon aka Agent Gibbs also contribute to the humour. Not forgetting Dr Mallard, he always has a story.
This post is not about NCIS. Why would I review an episode? So as this guy is watching. An interruption. The phone. A message. Its from her. The girl he thought would be. The girl who was yet to make up her mind.
“I’ve something to tell you. It’s not that important but when you find time please let me know.” (The text message).
He loses concentration, fails to focus on NCIS. He thinks, reflects.
“What could this be about?” He asks himself.
He imagines it could be about her telling him that she was now free and was willing to listen to him again. He anticipates. He feels like sending a message.
“What if she doesn’t reply?” As he dials her number.
He waits. Not nervously but very anxiously. She picks up. Her voice, as husky as it has always been. She sounds very happy to hear his voice. They talk. 15minutes. All they talk about is how the new year is going so far. Then he sets an appointment. Or it should be more like a date. In his mind. He imagines seeing her again. Her smile, perfume (not colgne to be specific) and the intriguing eyes those that hardly give answers.
But then she changes her mind.
“Let me text you and tell you what it is,” she says
“Why can’t we just meet and you tell me?” He asks
“I’ve changed my mind, I’d rather text you,” she insists
They then exchange pleasantries and say goodnight to each other. He waits for the text. He tries to watch more of NCIS. But all he can see is her face.
(((((((Fire flies- owl city)))))))))) (message tone)
“Am introducing my BF at the end of this month. He is meeting my parents. I just thought you should know.” (The message).
Shocked. He reads the message again and again. Like a tongue stuck on frozen ice, he looks at the message endlessly. He thinks it is prank. Then thinks it is real.
“WTF, why did she tell me this?” as he talks to himself while pacing around the room.
Then he types message. And sends.
“I am happy for you. Atleast you have made up your mind. Have a great night.”
He shoves it off. He recalls the great days. He wonders why she had to tell him.
“I’d rather stick to NCIS. Atleast is gives me a smile. The year should start on the bright side. You won’t bring me down lady,” He says to himself as he turns on the DVD player.
Reading:
“The day of the Jackal – Frederick Forsyth”
“Have you seen a goat McGee”
“Actually its ghost not goat,” McGee says “Do you know a De Ja Vu Ziva?” He adds
“No! What is a Déjà Vu?” Ziva asks
Well this guy watching NCIS just keeps on laughing. The skull loving, gothic and forensic scientist Abby and the Gut driven Mark Harmon aka Agent Gibbs also contribute to the humour. Not forgetting Dr Mallard, he always has a story.
This post is not about NCIS. Why would I review an episode? So as this guy is watching. An interruption. The phone. A message. Its from her. The girl he thought would be. The girl who was yet to make up her mind.
“I’ve something to tell you. It’s not that important but when you find time please let me know.” (The text message).
He loses concentration, fails to focus on NCIS. He thinks, reflects.
“What could this be about?” He asks himself.
He imagines it could be about her telling him that she was now free and was willing to listen to him again. He anticipates. He feels like sending a message.
“What if she doesn’t reply?” As he dials her number.
He waits. Not nervously but very anxiously. She picks up. Her voice, as husky as it has always been. She sounds very happy to hear his voice. They talk. 15minutes. All they talk about is how the new year is going so far. Then he sets an appointment. Or it should be more like a date. In his mind. He imagines seeing her again. Her smile, perfume (not colgne to be specific) and the intriguing eyes those that hardly give answers.
But then she changes her mind.
“Let me text you and tell you what it is,” she says
“Why can’t we just meet and you tell me?” He asks
“I’ve changed my mind, I’d rather text you,” she insists
They then exchange pleasantries and say goodnight to each other. He waits for the text. He tries to watch more of NCIS. But all he can see is her face.
(((((((Fire flies- owl city)))))))))) (message tone)
“Am introducing my BF at the end of this month. He is meeting my parents. I just thought you should know.” (The message).
Shocked. He reads the message again and again. Like a tongue stuck on frozen ice, he looks at the message endlessly. He thinks it is prank. Then thinks it is real.
“WTF, why did she tell me this?” as he talks to himself while pacing around the room.
Then he types message. And sends.
“I am happy for you. Atleast you have made up your mind. Have a great night.”
He shoves it off. He recalls the great days. He wonders why she had to tell him.
“I’d rather stick to NCIS. Atleast is gives me a smile. The year should start on the bright side. You won’t bring me down lady,” He says to himself as he turns on the DVD player.
Reading:
“The day of the Jackal – Frederick Forsyth”
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