Is it for love?

How do the rich earn their money? They were patient and built their empires over the years. Well at times I wonder if am following in their footsteps. Is it that I like my internship and enjoying it? Well I do not know. When I took up this internship or I would rather call it job, the divines of providence looked fathomable. Finally I would get published. Wow

Then I started doing my work, I fell in love with work that I would walk 1km daily to and from work. No money. I was told I would be paid if I could deliver publications. Well I did. It is something I am proud of. So what exactly is wrong? Well my payment delayed by a week, a month and still counting. Am so broke that this Easter I can’t travel home or even buy an Easter egg for myself or my Kid brother. Well with all hopes slowly dwindling, a normal person would think about quitting. I cannot take myself out for a decent meal.

As normal as I am I’ve thought about it. Actually am supposed to be relaxed and fail to submit stories. But I actually cannot do this, am finding it hard not to submit. So what have I done to myself? Am I working for charity? Each day regarded as a worker. But maybe I would rather be published. Don’t know if am doing this for Love. For the love of having a by-line am walking home late and sleeping less to get a story published.

Each day I wake up I hope to get the best out of myself. Hope is what drives me. My quest to become a journalist has outstripped my desire to get myself a girlfriend. Not that I wouldn’t want one. My desire to become a good journalist has been met with a barrage of the corporate world.

The corporate world has hijacked my writing skills. Human interest is my thing but slowly I am sinking into the world of the corporate.
Am working for a business paper whose reader is the “wall street kind.” I have become that which I did not want. It is more than heartbreak to me. I have sunk in and am finding it very hard to leave.

Will I be able to leave? I do not think any time soon. I have gotten used to this. I would want to get out but where am I going. I wanted to write stories that impact society. Stories with an emotional touch. This I have seen slip away.

Not that I wouldn’t write something emotional in a business paper but because that touchy piece of writing is not the editorial policy. So have I realised my dream? I would reply am waiting to see the sun.
Maybe it is for the love of writing.

What hunger can do

This is official..... It actually happened.........
The source preferred anonymity...

Flushed down under

3:00am Saturday morning. The room is quite. My head is spinning. The night is chilly. All my ears can hear is sound of the dogs breathing hard in the backyard. This is not in my sleep. I am awake. Awake because I cannot sleep. In my head I ask God to give me some sleep. I needed it after a long hard day.

So I wait. I turn left, then right, blanket on the face, then off the face, face up and then face down. Still I cannot sleep. So I needed something to make me sleep but could not find it. Slowly my mind went into deep thoughts. Thoughts of what my life would, should or can be. I do not know.

Growing up I had always wanted to be a doctor. Does that sound interesting? As a kid I actually had a passion of being this kind of person. So I went to school. Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Mathematics, these were subjects I loved. I attended each lesson. Well by the time I left secondary school there was thing they called Balancing equations. Well by that time I could hardly balance. They looked like stars to me. Chemistry confused my head. The periodic table, Huh.... unbelievable. I think one thing I understood was Titration. Mixing chemicals into chemicals, right? The theories in physics screwed me up, the biology terms were killer and for mathematics, i’d rather not talk about it.
That explains it. The dream had"died". Out like a candle in the wind. Helpless but could not light it again. Now here I am a journalist in the making. Know that Zain slogan? A wonderful world.....

Would I be blogging?

I must admit am enjoying this life as a young reporter and a blogger. At that point I recovered my sleep. Slowly I slept. I went back into the life of uncertainity.

Shopping into the "gutter"

I am not the tallest person on earth but my height number is one thing I do not know. Am I something like 5'7 0r 6'5. Seriously I do not know my height. What is the Fuss?
It is one of those days I wake up get to the shower(a cold one). Getting clothes to put on is never a hustle. I do not have many clothes in my bag. Provided I do no own my own wardrobe. This is not surprising am a boy.

Just a few days ago i realized that I did not have clothes to put on. It was Easter and had to attend a special church event. I simply could not get what to put on. I do not want to blame anyone for this, i think its completely my fault. Whenever I get an unprecedented amount of money, i look forward to getting clothes. Well blame me or not i never get the clothes in.
My yearning to get great clothes is high. One evening I decided to go shopping Down town market. Looking at the clothes I did not like what I saw. Then I saw very nice jeans. According to my eyes they were nice. I bought them. I'd rather not mention the price tag its quite disappointing. I have this bargaining problem. I simply find it hard to bargain. Well I got those Finely tailored expensive jeans.

Two months down the road. They are no more. They are terrible and in a sorry state. Stupidly the jeans had no value to me. This is one of those horrifying tales of mine. In my whole "shopping career" I have never bought anything and it lasts. Apart from my shoes, I have never had the the best rewards on the clothes I buy. Fukes.

Don't know what that may mean, but I know someone will not believe this. I actually depend on what other people buy for me. But in the last 1 year I have hardly received any gift. Ahem. I need a complete bailout. One of my friends always tells me to find a girlfriend. Well we'll see to that. But i highly doubt if my shopping drought is just about to end.

Should I just assume its not a male thing.