May 18, 2010

In between the lines/sheets

This post is brought to you in proud association with the Tories and the Lib-dems
Blame it on my background, but I find Comedy from the US of A rather weak. I find it young and it lacks intellectual thought. This obviously is bound to raise some dust, no offence but I just can’t stand 20 minutes of that talk. I can stand Cosby and Jon Stewart but the rest is like listening to Lindsay Lohan try to sing or even Paris Hilton acting.

So, why do I hate this comedy? Because when I listen to whatever they say it never lets one think about the joke. So straight forward and is always aimed at someone. Blame my background but I just cannot stand it. There are these two comedians that I am beginning to hate. One is Brazilian who thinks he knows it all. The biggest joke of his life came last week when he decided to opt to have Lil’wayne perform at a concert instead of T.I.

Then the other one is French. He decided that after a fab year for the Dbanj’ didn’t deserve it and he opted to reward 2Face Idibia(who is he?) as artiste of the year. The same French comedian made it worse when he nominated Legion as the best movie of the year yet no matter how stale I found Iron Man2 to be, it was a better movie.
So, please do not ask me about these two comedians. They are not American surprisingly and that means Brazilian, French, American and Nigerian comedy is not funny. Just like someone pouring Acid/limewater/sticky stuff/cooking oil/crashed water melon/saltwater among others on your pretty face. True it hurts but why did this guy do it. Why did he pour what they called a herbal concoction on her pretty face. There two things involved:
1-    The truth
2-    Deception
Why I believe it’s the truth is that some guy has been charged with murder. So how will they prove that, if they find it was liquid water? I also have a reason why I believe it was deception? Maybe she was trying to steal someone’s man. Was she being genuine about her pain? Well atleast some two singing comedians didn’t think so. On the day the two got into the ring to fight her. They failed to knock her down, not even a single cut on her eye.

Time 23:22pm. I still insist I’d rather watch British Comedy than the American or Latino. Try listening without watching and you will be shocked that if some Latino Comedian starts talking and you will hardly laugh. Try that with British Comedy and giggles will be on the rise despite the language being the biggest barrier. It’s more complicated than you think. I wonder which comedy mode Africa would prefer? American or British? I’d say none. We cannot match any. We are not even close.

Listen or watch our adverts and some are not even worth a mention.

1.    MTN Goal of Goals (very artificial). 90% of people I’ve talked find it pathetic.
2.    All Orange adverts apart from the one where a guy narrates a story of how he met this girl on a bus. Then all the Gyekiri shizzle is not appealing. It’s too stale.
3.    Give me a break UTL, the adverts are nothing close to appealing.
I’ll name the rest another day.Maybe they should pick a stem from Widhoek.

“We are coping western culture and are being influenced by it” – Honestly I think this statement is too ambiguous. If anyone tells you this, look him in the face and say, “You are funny, I love your comedy-like stunts,”
Why this answer? Because they deserve to know how we have failed to copy and paste, so we are not yet influenced. Especially politically, socially and intellectually. We don’t copy, we act terribly instead.

Now I’ll go grab myself a cup of Good African Coffee and leave you to read and think between the lines or rather the sheets.

This final part is for someone. You inspire me. For real.

May 5, 2010

@ 24

Quickly I scribble down the words, I listen to the speeches. What are they talking about? The economy? Politics? Business? Who cares?  I concentrate. Cannot blink, stare or afford to be absent minded. 30 minutes later the function concludes, I rush with my recorder to ask the main speaker questions. He listens. He responds. I ask. I record. We exchange cards. I leave.

30minutes later am at my desk, am sweating. 300ml bottle of Coke is staring at me. Am watching my keyboard, with my hands in standby mode while spread out on the keyboard. Am thinking of how to start the story. It’s like putting together gigsaw  puzzles of blue lit sky. I type a word and quickly I backspace. I type a sentence and delete it. 30minutes later I finally get my words in order. In another 30mins am all set. Next assignment.

This post is not about my Job. Its about me getting to celebrate my 24th year. Am still a novice.