Jul 27, 2011

Cremation; The Untold Story.

I have always been fascinated by cremation. Yes the idea of having someone burnt and then have their ashes sprinkled into water (like in the movies) or left placed near the house chimney. Recently I have been analysing this issue and amazingly while chatting with a friend (Not the one you know). This friend explained that cremation means getting a body of human and then chopping the pieces and placing them on fire.

“Have you watched the videos on Bukedde TV where angry people burn someone during mob justice?”  The friend tells me.

He further explains that this is typically what cremation about. Someone dies, they are burnt to ashes or someone is burnt alive. We further divulge into cremation and wonder what the whole point is. So it is from this we came up with the demerits and merits of cremation.
This is the friend I am talking about

1. With the increasing inflation and spiralling dollar in the country, we came to realise that cremation saves one the price of a coffin and transport costs from the Uganda Funeral Services.

2. Cremation saves land. Investors in the country have been looking for land to put factories to assemble cheap Chinese goods. We do not have to burry people. We can always save the country and provide more land to investors.

3. Cremation saves on burial costs. Yes. At one of those investment club meetings, one re-known entrepreneur said that Ugandans seem to spend so much on burial ceremonies. So it should be a lesson from him that we can save that money and invest in other things that make people happy.

4. Broken hearts are not so broken. With cremation, the ashes can stay in the house. One can travel with them especially if getting over somebody is hard, then you haven’t lost anything at all.

5. During mob justice where the person is “cremated” one doesn’t need to find relatives of the robber who has probably killed to rob. Its saves time as time waits for no man.

6. Solves polygamy quarrels. If the dead person is a man, the different wives can get ashes and sprinkle or keep them. They don’t need to chop the person into various pieces yet there is fire that can burn him to ashes.

1. The firewood or charcoal used to cremate people means that we forests are being depleted. Africa needs the forests.

2. We are wasting firewood and charcoal to burn dead humans yet we can use it to prepare food we can actually eat.

3. According to the Human Rights Commission, it is wrong to cremate someone. Every Human has a right to a humane treatment, so cremation of robbers is wrong.

4. Cremation creates unemployment. If people are cremated, the coffin makers, the Uganda funeral services and people who involved in death business will be put out of business.

5. Cremation is wrong. It’s not in the Bible (I am not sure as I tried to call, tweet and poke the Pope and Rowan Williams but they all couldn’t get back to me)

6. Cremation doesn’t let people move on. If you stay with the ashes, then it’s very hard to find another      person to be happy or share your life with.

7. Cremation as proof of total disrespect. How do you burn a human being? It’s illegal and uncouth.

8. Ash capsules are pretty pricy too. If you are to place them in this capsule, then it may be as pricy as a coffin.

9. Cremation causes air pollution in cases where the person was heavily intoxicated. Yeah, this is true. In-fact I know a story. People who drink, smoke, depend on drugs and eat genetically modified food tend to cause air pollution when cremated. (The research findings on this could not be cited.)

During my discussion with this friend of mine (Who is Owen Wilson), this is all we could come up with. Although there are varying definitions of cremation, I think we have clearly explained a concept that we do not understand at all.

Jul 1, 2011

Green Lantern NOT the review.

I am scared. Oh yes I have fear. 
"look look, There is some Castle Milk Stout," he says in a rather beer hungry tone. 
He says it with no fear. Meaning he is Green. Yes. He has some green face.

 Then in the corner seated on a couch is another gentleman. 
"Water please," he tells the waiter. 
So this dude according to Martin Campbell this second gentleman qualifies to have fear. The fear for Castle Milk stout or beer to be on the safe side. But there is no safe side. Some energy sucking skull looking imaginative figure wants to use the  gentleman's own fear for beer to take his soul.  
He running away from the Castle Milk Stout and he is convincing himself that he doesnt need to get high. All the people around him are sipping some rich, dark liquid. He watches them and he seems like he wants to overcome his fear.

As he sips Rwenzori Water, a curvy and scrumptious looking girl walks in. She walks straight to the counter and orders for "Castle Milk Stout." 
He stares(With his tongue popping out) as sweat smoothly glides down his face. The girl walks straight to him and asks.
"Can I sit next to you?" 
"Yes," He says in panicky tone. 

For the next 20minutes, he says nothing. To overcome fear number one. He walks to the counter picks a Castle Milk Stout. Infact he picks two. One for himself and the other for Blake Christina Lively
But before he could get back, The gentleman in Green, the Green guy, the one without fear had already started livening up Christina. They were laughing. No. Backspace. They were flirting. Touching and by the end of the night ended up somewhere. On lantern perhaps. 

The fearful guy had lost out to some dude who loves taking risks and his name Ryan Rodney Reynolds. Ryan had without fear taken a Milk Stout (Put Castle before Milk) and again without fear achieved a nice looking/amazing lady. 

This other dude with all the fear. Walked away, head faced down, angry and cursing. The spirit of evil hand taken him over. With all the rage, he became evil itself and went into a destructive mode. 

What happens next will send you to sleep.