Apr 29, 2009

Open Secret.

The day payo bestowed this award he warned me not fox like he did. The Payo I know would fox. He did not include it in the 10 things about himself. Well this is about me. I almost ignored it to but the temptation was to high for me to ignore. Talking about thyself is one thing I have not done in a long time. I have been honored and touched to receive this award. So I'll bow first and unleash the person in me. I present to you Mckeith.

1. I am still intact. I'd rather not dwell on this too much but I have reserved thyself for that person am yet to find. I'd want to use the V-word but I hope you get that one.

2. I am too shy. Ok I have been close to so many people and the one thing they always tell me is that am shy. This normally happens with the female specie. Eye contact is always avoided and I normally walk head facing down with my Ipod and earphones plugged in my ears. I'll greet as many people as possible but when you start complementing me I'll blush all the way. Cant believe am typing all this stuff.

3. I like to grow my hair. Its poor quality. If you know what faded brown is then get to think of my hair. However I never get the opportunity to grow it. It gets me into trouble with my friends and family laughing at me for the quality of my hair.

4. I have only been in one relationship. S.3-S.5. Since then I have been on this quest to find that bond but it has become mission impossible.

5. I Lost my mouth-virginity last year. I'd call it a fling. It wasn't that interesting. I had yearned for this opportunity to kiss. I took the chance but I did not enjoy a piece of it. So am still hanging in there.

6. I have very many fantasies. I love to think of myself as the rich fine guy with a great family, good job and nice cars. When am walking am imagining lots of stuff that I even talk to myself. I would want to call it a level of madness. Mid-madness. It keeps me standing though.

7. I am only annoyed when am broke. When brokenness avails itself I tend to have no friends. I become so rude, grumpy and tend to carve my face with wrinkles. It is one of those things I believe every boy will worry about. I hate brokenness but when I spend I expect to get broke.

8. I cannot say no. When it comes to social issues I cannot say no. There is always a polite way of saying it but am just one guy who will say yes I can do that. Open minded. This aint no advert. Its honesty.

9. I am in love with a stranger.

10. I hate it when they call me a young boy. I know am in my early twenties but most of the people call me a young guy. 19 year old. Last year some guy at Sway bounced me at the entrance. how nice. Thats why I love keeping my hair it makes me look my age. AM OUT.

The enchanted seven that deserve this.
1. valentia
2. Carlifornia gal
3. liz
4. yz
5. payo
6. Ugandan gal
7. eizzy.k

1. You must brag about the award
2. You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3. You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4. Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.
5. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on with the instructions!

Haunted hotel

The Ugandan town of Fort Portal is home to one slowest talking people, the Batooro. I was given the opportunity by Coca Cola to travel to this great Kingdom. My reason for travelling will not be disclosed but for some reason I was fascinated by different things.

Well, I had to book myself into a hotel for the night. Across the horizon I could notice a pink lacework as the sun was beginning to set west of this blessed town. I walked looking for a hotel that would suit the money I had. Not that I am a broke guy but coke was paying the bills. Thanks to them by the way. Along the main street as buildings began to light up, a hotel. I’d rather not mention its name. Confidentiality is of the essence. So I got the counter. The manger, casually dressed in blue round necked shirt welcomed me to the hotel and the usual hullabaloo. But I was struck when the manager asked me something.

“Well Sir should I bring a girl for you, for the night?” He asked.
I looked at him, felt like laughing and could not help look at the guy. Then to myself I said.

“Do I look like a guy who needs a one night stand? Well maybe because my hairstyle. My afro makes me look old.”

“So where are you going to get this girl am you are going to give me for the night?” I asked him

He then with simple smile said to me. “Just say yes and I will just dial the number, she will be here in no time.”
I was shattered.

“So do people actually ask you for girls when they get here?” I asked him.
“Of course they do. I’ve already made six calls today,” He replied me.

It is amazing. He actually thought I needed a girl. Oh my.

“Well Ssebo I do not need a girl for the night. I am fine the way I came. Just make sure I have everything I asked for,” I told him

Well I went to my room and was quite uneasy. It was like a gal was going to knock at my door and ask if I needed her services. After close to an hour, I moved to the hotel lobby to watch the events at the reception. I watched on and noticed I was kind of the only person going to sleep in my room. The room was quite cold.

Whatever happened in the rooms, I could not help but eavesdrop. Some were my neighbours. I turned my music up and slept in uncertainity.

Apr 23, 2009

What hunger can do

This is official..... It actually happened.........
The source preferred anonymity...

Intimate connection: Kampala Vs Earth

The traffic jam around Kampala in the late evening is quite pathetic. So to beat the Jam I normally like taking a walk. I have always dreamt and I hope to drive a car in the near future. Hope the roads will be available. Now while I was walking I noticed a few things.

1. When the cars are parked in the Jam, the engines are on. Hmmm the air is no longer fresh because of such.

2. Flowing sewerage. As the cars are moving at snail speed, the gentle breeze is sticky only to notice that there was flowing sewerage.

3. Flying polythene. It’s quite windy. The hush sound of car engines and cluttering of polythene can’t be avoided. I notice polythene bags scratching on the tarmac and some flying around and just around the corner, a garbage heap. Buzzing flies with that stingy smell of rotten garbage and the flowing sewerage pre-empt me to move fast.
It was getting late.

4. As the traffic slowly begins to gain some pace. A green coloured bus, think its Nile coach passes and through the window someone sends out a “kaveera.” It doesn’t come to me but it lands on the approaching bodaboda. How sweet.

So then it was Earth day, well no one seems to know about it in Uganda. It’s a no show for the green activists. What did I do? I did switch my lights earlier than usual in order to save energy. Had less coffee candy that usual, Shut down my laptop, removed the charger from the power socket, slept when the TV was off and finally I avoided the supermarket (No “kaveera” for earth day).
Do you know that CNN used a green strip to mark earth day? Well our local TV’s never mentioned it. Bet the earth doesn’t need a day in Uganda. We already have one, “Keep Kampala city clean.” The slogan has been the driving force to the cleanliness in our great city. All this eco-stuff doesn’t matter in our beloved clean city. I need some fresh air.

All objections may be overruled.

Apr 22, 2009

A toast to unemployment

GOVERNMENT TO PAY JOBLESS YOUTH... Wow this is impressive stuff. My eyes could not avoid the crispy contact with this headline. Buried into reading this story I could not help think. After flipping the page and fully engaging my brains into this story, I kept on saying to myself “Lord give me a sign.” A sign to know whether this was one of those political pranks that politicians love to unleash.

So what if it is true. Then I’d rather be unemployed. Am employed at the moment, and earn around 150,000/= a month. The government will be paying between 150,000/= and 200,000/=. This may cause me to quit my job and start enjoying the tax payer’s money. Seriously I’ve thought about this and it’s kind of tickling me. I feel like laughing my head off. Could this be the end of poverty and the worries of getting a job over?

People look at this positively; imagine you getting paid for what you haven’t done. Guess it is the reward for the taxes you have been paying indirectly (VAT).

Is this real or am I being blinded by the large Font size of the headline?
Trust me this prank maybe too hard to pull off. The New Vision should have known better.

Apr 20, 2009

Patriotic Rants

I am Ugandan. By blood I like my country. Honestly this is one country I like. Though i’d have some reservations, in school I was never taught how to be patriotic. So it was within me to like this country. Many things I love
Sometime last week my patriotism was put to the test. I have this friend of mine who sent me mail on how this world views Uganda. And what did I just find out... I was shocked at what I read.

There was a statement that blew me off. I got so angry and felt like punching the wall.
“Kampala is a city waiting to be f*****.” This was just the beginning. In the e-mail I received some links where I could view some of these comments. When my friend sent me the email he added this statement at the bottom.
“I can’t copy this mail to any female friend, would be too much of an insult.”

This page I was linked to mainly talks about how easy it can get to hook up with a Ugandan lady. The people who post on this site are actually not Ugandans. They are big business people, some of those expatriates who come to do “great work for this country.” They come to Uganda and spend a few nights in Uganda’s top hotels......
Its a discussion board. They comments there to me are worth a treason charge.

“Just walk into the bars at the Rouge, steakout.....and you will find campus girls from MUBS n’ MUK, buy one beer, two or three and she will be yours the whole night. they come cheap.”
"Guys, I had quite a bit of Ugandan gals, where can I hook up a foreign ones.
The only strings are I buy the booze she provides the sex."

In my head I could not believe what I was reading. Then there was this other post.

“I have pictures of girls from MUBS and Makerere. If you want any just log in and view what these girls have to offer.”

Well they also talked about the hotels where they can meet cheap girls.

“You can f***** a Ugandan girl for as low as 20k.”
I like my country. We have beautiful Ladies. When I checked out this website, I got disappointed. These men pay $19.95 as annual subscription to the website to get info on which Ugandan girl is available. The posh hotels around town might be wondering why their customers love this country.

I am patriotic and reading such puts me off....... We are losing our girls to such creepy men... Am so annoyed... Seriously.

Apr 19, 2009

Flushed down under

3:00am Saturday morning. The room is quite. My head is spinning. The night is chilly. All my ears can hear is sound of the dogs breathing hard in the backyard. This is not in my sleep. I am awake. Awake because I cannot sleep. In my head I ask God to give me some sleep. I needed it after a long hard day.

So I wait. I turn left, then right, blanket on the face, then off the face, face up and then face down. Still I cannot sleep. So I needed something to make me sleep but could not find it. Slowly my mind went into deep thoughts. Thoughts of what my life would, should or can be. I do not know.

Growing up I had always wanted to be a doctor. Does that sound interesting? As a kid I actually had a passion of being this kind of person. So I went to school. Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Mathematics, these were subjects I loved. I attended each lesson. Well by the time I left secondary school there was thing they called Balancing equations. Well by that time I could hardly balance. They looked like stars to me. Chemistry confused my head. The periodic table, Huh.... unbelievable. I think one thing I understood was Titration. Mixing chemicals into chemicals, right? The theories in physics screwed me up, the biology terms were killer and for mathematics, i’d rather not talk about it.
That explains it. The dream had"died". Out like a candle in the wind. Helpless but could not light it again. Now here I am a journalist in the making. Know that Zain slogan? A wonderful world.....

Would I be blogging?

I must admit am enjoying this life as a young reporter and a blogger. At that point I recovered my sleep. Slowly I slept. I went back into the life of uncertainity.

Apr 17, 2009

The newscast “Back Story”

I love watching the news.
Visual effects are lovely.
They speak to me.
I must admit.
The reason for watching the news could be getting information on current affairs.
Well I guess there is another angle to these news casts.
Have you ever thought of the news anchors?
They can make the story attractive.

Get a hot anchor and I will watch.
Not because the stories are interesting.
But maybe,just maybe I would watch.
Content matters but that hot and smart anchor could be
the difference.
Ahem..... I love the news.
Bravo NTV for Karungi and Rosemary , NBS the lady called Biira...
ooops... Try CNN.... Some anchor called McEdwards
then there is Aisha Shasey, ummmmmm Zain Verge...

Apr 15, 2009

Embrace thy musical creativity

Relaxing while eating my blue pen cover, Earphones plugged in my ears. My Nokia 6030 has a radio function. I proudly want to listen to music. I have quite a number of radio stations saved. So I start tuning.

93.3 KFM... the song playing: “Oli mugatti gwa batta, bread and batta.”
I don’t know the exact title but the song is about this girl who is batter/margarine for the bread.

91.3 Capital.... “Boomshackatack” the song title I also find complicated. But well i have no idea what it means. It sounds like: Boom shark attack.

90.0 Radio one. Not a local song this time. “Big in Japan tonight, big in japan all night...” The title of this one is “Big in Japan.”

100 Hot 100... “Lollipop”... Lilwayne’s with a song about a lollipop. I must admit this song sells like hot candy (is there any?)

95.9 Touch FM... “White Shadows.” This Coldplay tune is all about chasing white shadows. Kinda funny huh!! I’ve never seen a white shadow.

99.0 East Africa radio..... “All the single ladies, all the single ladies” Beyonce keeps on repeating those words. I love the way she repeats the words... It’s all I hear.

94.8 Vision Voice... “If we’re a boy” Ok now Beyonce is making my day. From single ladies then to being a boy.... wow that’s something now.

My rest is over and need to get back to work. I must admit the creativity of musicians. It is just the killer. Oh there other radio station like cbs,akabozi,simba, super etc..... The creativity is just something.....
I need to unplug these earphones...duty calls...

Shopping into the "gutter"

I am not the tallest person on earth but my height number is one thing I do not know. Am I something like 5'7 0r 6'5. Seriously I do not know my height. What is the Fuss?
It is one of those days I wake up get to the shower(a cold one). Getting clothes to put on is never a hustle. I do not have many clothes in my bag. Provided I do no own my own wardrobe. This is not surprising am a boy.

Just a few days ago i realized that I did not have clothes to put on. It was Easter and had to attend a special church event. I simply could not get what to put on. I do not want to blame anyone for this, i think its completely my fault. Whenever I get an unprecedented amount of money, i look forward to getting clothes. Well blame me or not i never get the clothes in.
My yearning to get great clothes is high. One evening I decided to go shopping Down town market. Looking at the clothes I did not like what I saw. Then I saw very nice jeans. According to my eyes they were nice. I bought them. I'd rather not mention the price tag its quite disappointing. I have this bargaining problem. I simply find it hard to bargain. Well I got those Finely tailored expensive jeans.

Two months down the road. They are no more. They are terrible and in a sorry state. Stupidly the jeans had no value to me. This is one of those horrifying tales of mine. In my whole "shopping career" I have never bought anything and it lasts. Apart from my shoes, I have never had the the best rewards on the clothes I buy. Fukes.

Don't know what that may mean, but I know someone will not believe this. I actually depend on what other people buy for me. But in the last 1 year I have hardly received any gift. Ahem. I need a complete bailout. One of my friends always tells me to find a girlfriend. Well we'll see to that. But i highly doubt if my shopping drought is just about to end.

Should I just assume its not a male thing.

Apr 10, 2009

Making the first move

Most of the people will think making the 1st move is so easy but my God it is just so hard. I beg for some protection here. I have always wanted to tell this girl how I feel and its not been so easy for me for some years. There are things you always fear.

1. She is going to ask you who gave you the feelings

2. She is going to ask me whether I am the first boy to have seen her.

3. Probably she will think that you are nuts.

4. You may not want the shame of being blasted like a golf club.........

5. She will pretend not know what you are going to talk about...

I have done this for some good time. I always tell my boys with confidence.
“I like that girl and bet on it am going to tell her how i feel.” East to say. But by the time I get to her, it is another story. I start my normal Jazz.........

Is that crap? No it aint. I have always seen myself as a confident boy but some things bring me close to my toes. By the time I am going to tell the girl they already know. They wait for me to talk. It is annoying. Can’t the girl ever make the first move?
Girls please!!!!!!

My “Viewer discretion fantasy”

So they say there is a fantasy world out there....? Actually am not sure if it is a question because I know I have my own fantasies...

So u had better make up your mind... Is anyone getting' my point or you probably thinking this guy is insane... Can I get 2 the point... In my fantasy world (I call it my fantasy world coz it is not like yo's) I had a pretty decent thought of me being in a music video. Now the fantasy is not doing' the break-dance or being with a large chain wit' the inscription MC. Are u still wit me or u r getting bored...please type your comment below this page..

Hey I wasn’t concluding my fantasy. I have watched the latest 'porn'(now you thinking the guy is immoral)... If you have noticed our music videos are not music videos they in fact have no people singing but they get great gals en make them strip..... Instead of one seeing a great video all u see is a bunch of beautiful ladies shaking their (censored by management) en waging in front of 50coins,kanye,snoop double g en others I cannot mention for purposes of loyalty... The missing word after those names is 'faces'.

Imagine me in such a music 'porn' video... So you probably think this guy is totally immoral, a psychopath en whatever u can think about... But in my fantasy I actually get fired. Why did I get fired? I just couldn’t keep my head straight. What the 'eeeeeeh' is this guy talking about what some of u r thinking. You want 2 know? Ok what’s the fuss about sex? En getting ladies 2 undress 4 the cameras.

Think I should have remembered the word sexy in this. When am watching t.v with my parents and young sis or brother, they always want to change the channel. Ohh my!!! It can be annoying. Music videos should get something like this before they are aired.
“The video you are about to watch contains mature situations. Viewer discretion is advised.”
My pleasure to host you...

idle notes (continued):the oscars and nobel peace prize

I was talking about songs of love to have us change the language because despite the way people have sung about love there is beef everywhere i had an idea that probably shakespears language wld be of an advantage to the spreading of love across the airwaves........

Now as i was thinking of the next 20 years (i will be 40 i guess) something like a shooting star ******* crossed my mind and i was like.......hey get back here and i write you down.................!!!!! should i write it down ummmmmmm yes.....okDont you think that the above idea could get me an oscar... besides i think i have the qualities. Having a documentary done is the only thing remaining.......and then......THE OSCAR GOES TO (then the drums, the anxiety, the cameras,the eyes) MARK KEITH..........................immediately i stand up and recieve the oscar probably from NICOLE SW(cant realy spell it but shes from the pussycat dolls) or even SHAKESPEAR(since we have poeple who think they can become a shakespear..........

What follows then is my speach which of course will be captivating with lots of HERE DOTH I WISH TO ABSTENTIASLY THANK THEE FOR THY SUPPORT..........blabla(then hand claps, the cameras..ohhhh autographs)And then we head of to the after party......................gosh thats what had come to my mind.....but what was i thinking before this came.................ok ................think i remember.......yeah "THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR PEACE..............goes to ME.........and this is because of his effort to make the world understand wht love is all about" Sec.gen of the UN Ban KI Moon (Koffi Annan just settling down in Ghana) And then my Shakespean speech is unlished like a rocketI THANK ALL YEE FOR THY PRIZE....HOPE THE LOVETH THAT DOTH TRANSENDS THY UNIVERSE BE UNTO YOU.............blablablaOfcourse not 4getting the heroic welcome in uganda..........Limos...people..state house invitation and loads of friends

21st Century American Revolution

Many revolutions have backbönes. In the days when we studied european history we had the 1789 french revn. But be4 that we had the american revon. The americans revolted against the british.

Here is the latest revolution against anytìn' that looks british. Cricket hahaha i hve neva heard the usa play cricket but they have their own verson and its called baseball. And hey they have catches but they have saves.The thought of having an America (i mean usa) in the rugby world cup is asking a dog to eat grass.

The blend of rugby is referred to as American football.(that is so unique). If i may ask do they have tries in the NFL?The third resistance was the refusal to accept a boring sleeptaking netball game and made it look great and breathtaking and ladies and gentlemen the game of basketball. Do they dunk in netball? Neva seen that. Maybe we should wait.Now the best part is the fact that there was BBC and guess what the warner bros came up.. CNN.

What about the fact America has a president unlike other british colonies like the aussies, canada etc which hve the queen as the h.o.state and the pm runs govt business.Check this out the greatest movie awards r held in the USA. (ask the actors and theyll tell u."an oscar is all i need"). The funny thing is there r many british actors gettin' awards. Look at the musicians ooh my does Craig David still live in britain. Thank God for the Patriotic Dido. I'll continue later but one musician said this."WE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE FREEDOM LOVING AND WE ARE RICH BEYOND CÖMPARE". am yet to find out. Next page....pending

The latest entrant......guess who Obama........ He has swept across the world that the whole world is looking at him. He has become part of the revolution.......the 21st century one... without even holding a gun.....

do we still have song writers(its not a question)

You know it is so suprising that now days i can also be a song writer. Why? The answer is so simple. We are singing about love everyday and hey for the producers its just the sae beat for one artist. Do we still have song writers. well i believe we have just a pinch of them compared to the number of artists. These days less thinking is needed. so i will just sit down and begin.....
stanza 1
this will include how i was walking accross the street and then met this girl and we fell in love head over heals. (i wonder what that love is called) by the way in the video i would have this very beautiful gal dressed to kill...... ohoh no to fall in love
the words to use are.....
as i was walking accross the street, entering a club blabla.
and hey dont 4 get for the songs of betrayal we can say the gal was cheating on me, loved my money and also how the girl failed to cook 4 me

perfect then in the chorus you find words... like
i love you, i will never leave you, you are my reason for breathing, i saw you in the many and and i saw you.
those could make a perfect chorus..of course the flattery has got to be owesome e.g the moment you leave me i will just be so incomplete blablabla

stanza 2
in this stanza its the perfect time to tell the gal what am going to do for her, love her and care for her. tell her that a going to spend the rest of the time with her and all the cliches of love you can think about.

stanza 3
this is where i bring in a rapper.
heyo... .. am goona give you all the money.............
the rapper has to have a deep voice ad with kind of like a dry throat

and tht would be the end of my song.

What am trying to show is that we are singing only one thing and sounds so bad that even some of the singers use almost the same beat for every song.....
we can be unique, lets take our time and write songs lets not rush into making a song boring. you listen to a song and the next day you hear the same words in the same song.