May 19, 2009

Is it for love?

How do the rich earn their money? They were patient and built their empires over the years. Well at times I wonder if am following in their footsteps. Is it that I like my internship and enjoying it? Well I do not know. When I took up this internship or I would rather call it job, the divines of providence looked fathomable. Finally I would get published. Wow

Then I started doing my work, I fell in love with work that I would walk 1km daily to and from work. No money. I was told I would be paid if I could deliver publications. Well I did. It is something I am proud of. So what exactly is wrong? Well my payment delayed by a week, a month and still counting. Am so broke that this Easter I can’t travel home or even buy an Easter egg for myself or my Kid brother. Well with all hopes slowly dwindling, a normal person would think about quitting. I cannot take myself out for a decent meal.

As normal as I am I’ve thought about it. Actually am supposed to be relaxed and fail to submit stories. But I actually cannot do this, am finding it hard not to submit. So what have I done to myself? Am I working for charity? Each day regarded as a worker. But maybe I would rather be published. Don’t know if am doing this for Love. For the love of having a by-line am walking home late and sleeping less to get a story published.

Each day I wake up I hope to get the best out of myself. Hope is what drives me. My quest to become a journalist has outstripped my desire to get myself a girlfriend. Not that I wouldn’t want one. My desire to become a good journalist has been met with a barrage of the corporate world.

The corporate world has hijacked my writing skills. Human interest is my thing but slowly I am sinking into the world of the corporate.
Am working for a business paper whose reader is the “wall street kind.” I have become that which I did not want. It is more than heartbreak to me. I have sunk in and am finding it very hard to leave.

Will I be able to leave? I do not think any time soon. I have gotten used to this. I would want to get out but where am I going. I wanted to write stories that impact society. Stories with an emotional touch. This I have seen slip away.

Not that I wouldn’t write something emotional in a business paper but because that touchy piece of writing is not the editorial policy. So have I realised my dream? I would reply am waiting to see the sun.
Maybe it is for the love of writing.

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